Thursday, September 11, 2014

I get by with a little help from my friends.

So I realize this is primarily a "house" blog, but it is also a family blog to share things with friends and family who lack social media (tisk, tisk). Well, today was one of those "OH. MY. GOD. I am going to JUMP OFF A BRIDGE" day. I wouldn't ever really jump off of a bridge, I am slightly afraid of heights…. but some days, those few words need to be said.

The day started off with Aiden storming into my room because he had created some disaster (Lucky Charms fell all over the pantry) and needed the dog to come clean up his dirty work. When he comes in my room to get Bama, I know something shady has been going on. I still pretend to be asleep while he does this so I can gather my thoughts and look through Facebook while I wake up. I am 100% not a morning person. Having kids has really challenged my skills in the morning, and I still rarely even want to speak until I have my coffee. So you know those cheery-morning moms, that is NOT me. I actually look like a haggard mess, still in pajamas, hoping that no one sees me as I put the dirty diaper on the porch and hope my oh-so-sweet husband takes it to the trash before he walks into the door.

I am trying to finish my front room project, which has gone from a playroom to an office, and a much better first impression as you walk into our house. The last thing we need are curtains. IKEA is one of the only stores that sells 98" curtains in the store and not just online. So, I gathered the troops and headed to IKEA.

In the car Aiden decided to steal Luke's water bottle. Luke screamed the whole way about it, but when Aiden "shared" he did not even drink it, so Aiden took it back. Little did I know he was taking the water in his mouth and just spitting it all back in the middle of the seat. It left a GIANT water stain in between the two car seats. Our car was brand new last December and already looks like it has been through a hurricane. Thank you, children.

We get to IKEA and I am searching for curtains and Aiden just runs off. He is no where to be found. I already took away going to the play area because of the spitting incident, which allegedly means he does not have to behave at all because there is no incentive for him. WHERE DID I GO WRONG? I know basic psychology, I should know this "reward system" by now, but for some reason I am terrible at it, and he has it greatly mastered. When I finally find him playing with "his favorite game" I am completely over getting curtains. I cannot find any I like, the ones I do like are too much money for what I want to spend, and I am just irritated. So I decide to leave.

On the way out I found an awesome ten dollar plant that I thought would look great in the office. From the time I put it in the cart to the time we were at the cash register, Luke had already crushed a decent amount of the leaves. As I am waiting in line, Aiden makes a break for it and heads to the exit, during which he has to go through a line that is not open. He sets of an embarrassingly loud alarm. I should have started the 'Miss America' wave and put on my 'Mom of the Year' sash, because that is precisely how I was feeling. After profusely apologizing to the lady that had to come over and crank a key around a bunch of times, the obnoxious alarm was finally silenced. Aiden just stared at me with this crinkled face, while I am sure I was looking at him like 'one more false move and you are DONE!'

As I gather the boys into the car, at this point I knew I had no intention of making lunch. I decided to go through Chick-Fil-A for a quick bite to eat, which apparently every other stay-at-home mom and escape-artist-work mom thought would be a great idea too. After about 20 minutes of screaming in the car we finally had our food and I wanted to drive home. Luke was screaming for chicken nuggets and Aiden was crying because he thought Luke was eating his nuggets. Which, is really news to me, Aiden never eats so I never thought he would cry over someone eating his food, but today, he did.

When we got home, I served them both lunch, with ketchup (a car no-no)… and they ate. I finally sit down to eat my lunch and Aiden shrieks in horror and cannot even verbalize what is happening. So I literally have no idea why he is crying/shrieking/dying? Finally he starts holding up his finger, and I asked if he bit it? He nodded yes and then vomited all over the floor. He does this when he cries. And he cries a lot. Lets just say I clean up his puke weekly. All you childless friends, do you still want kids after reading this madness I call life…. If you do, you can have mine!

Finally, a Band-aid calms him down, and by this point he cannot even remember which finger was bit, so I know it didn't hurt that bad, he is just highly emotional and "spirited." I have a moment to breath when I text my best friend, who lives in California, who also happens to have two boys.

I cannot stand my kids today. Aiden took a water bottle and spit all the water in the middle seat. Then he set an emergency alarm off at IKEA. And finally he bit his finger eating lunch and started crying profusely then vomited. Omg. I am gonna go nuts. 

And she knows more than anyone, because she has two wild little boys, the exact right thing to say.

OMG! That is a crazy day! Just get 'till his bed time! 

I swear, if I did not have friends who knew how crazy little men can be, I don't know that I would survive this thing called motherhood. In the moment, everything seems like it is collapsing around you, yet the bigger picture is all something to be thankful for, something I rarely remember when I am trying to keep my children alive and semi-well.

I thought I would look at some bigger picture things to keep my eye on the prize of being thankful for two, happy, healthy little boys.

Enjoying hide and seek with two one-year olds….

Enjoying this smile, even though he is too cool to look directly at the mommarazzi...

Enjoying flying babies… there will be a day we won't be able to throw them this high...

Enjoying little boy Chucks….

Enjoying watching these two grow up together...

Enjoying seeing my kids play….

And now if they can just stay asleep, I think I will be able to handle tomorrow! Goodbye blog, hello wine! 

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